ABYSSUS ABYSSUM INVOCAT
The world lost a great husband, father, friend, best man (even though they only allowed me 2 in my wedding to officially sign the marriage certs, all my groomsmen were best men), superb diver, cigar aficionado and many, many other things. So many in fact, i could probably just keep writing about all the things we talked about; sober and while enjoying a few tall glasses of his favourite rum while sitting in our pool while it rained, smoking cigars.
Usually I am at no loss for words, but this week my prose has failed me. I am shocked and deeply saddened that I won’t get to see him again until our next lives as I am sure we will someday meet again. But it is more than sadness that troubles me. I also feel anger, anger at him because his family will have to deal with this tragic event, the pain his children will feel as they grow up without a father. But nonetheless, i loved Jonathan as a brother and will miss him dearly.
Until i can gather my wits to get back to business as usual, I will leave you with how Jonathan described himself. To the Holtzclaw family, i ache for your loss, the hole that has been carved out hurts, and will for some time. But like any other hole, time will eventually fill it in. I cannot take the pain away, but just know that there are many people that are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. We will do anything for you, anywhere, anyplace, anytime.
Jonathan, you will be missed.
I am all things water.
I get bored easy, which leads me to do things that push the boundaries, and for some reason, I actually prefer to do things the hard way. I don’t like large gatherings of people. People are stupid and greedy. As much as people like to claim “ignorance” for their mistakes, that excuse can be used only once. I have no pity for those who feel sorry for themselves, who choose to live a banal existence, and then complain about their lack of achievement.
I believe in the animal instincts; kill only what you need, protect your family, be loyal (I’ve failed in this one myself). I believe in taking responsibility for your actions. I HATE those who prey on the innocent and weak. I believe you have to give respect to get respect. I hate reverse racism which is more prominent than racism. It’s used by those who have no skills or choose not to contribute to society.
Obviously I can be very negative, but what I am is real, and sometimes brutally honest. What I will never be is a coward, or a failure. I am in competition with no one but myself and I compare myself to no one. I always strive to make myself better. I will listen and take in consideration the advice and criticisms of those I trust.
I would truly be happy if I could live underwater. It is peaceful and largely unexplored. I have a warrior spirit and truly believe I was born in the wrong millennium. As much as I distrust people, I do enjoy meeting people from all over the world and hearing their views, theories, and stories. I may not be a “people person”, but I believe I am a good person. I am a proud father and am married to someone, I consider, to be the most beautiful, precious person I have ever met. I have a great family even though they are all goofy as hell. I am truly blessed.